


Anger Enough or Despair

by tehhumi



Series: Octobercest 2019 [2]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angband, Bad Guys Made Them Do It, Captivity, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Referenced cannibalism, Sibling Incest, Substitution, implied Maedhros/Feanor, implied Morgoth/Feanor, no one in this sex wants to be having it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2020-11-24 00:49:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20898908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tehhumi/pseuds/tehhumi
Summary: At the Dagor Bragollach, the pass of Aglon was overrun by Morgoth's forces, but many of its people escaped, and the orcs were eventually driven back by Maedhros.This is a story if the Feanorians' luck had been a little worse.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from a poem by Cecil Day-Lewis.  
Detailed warnings in the end notes

Curufin had been locked up for days in a cell containing only a bucket for his waste and a bucket of water. When Morgoth made the mountains spew fire and sent waves after waves of orcs, it had been clear that the pass would not hold. So he had sent the civilians and the children south, with a few soldiers who could be spared in case more passes had been overrun and orcs circled around. But evacuating completely would have the most vulnerable pursued every step of their journey, so most of the soldiers stayed to buy time. Curufin would not send his people to something he refused to face himself; he kept the command of the fort as they made sure every inch of ground would be paid for in orcish blood.

When the orcs broke through the outer gates at last, he had sounded the retreat to the castle. And when they broke though the castle doors and there was nowhere to run, he had been in the thick of the fighting. One of the orcs had said something about Morgoth wanting to play with the leaders, and Curufin was not a good enough swordsman to force them to kill him when it was twenty on one.

In the past five days, the door had opened only once a day. A loaf of bread was placed inside, and the buckets were replaced with fresh ones. Curufin always tried to get past the guard who delivered the food, but with his hands chained together in front of him it was not possible. All he had done was succeed in kicking over the buckets once, and spent the next day very thirsty. But he wasn’t going to beg and plead with Morgoth’s servants over a little thirst.

The door opened barely an hour after the last food had been dropped off. Curufin tried again to rush past the guard, and this time managed to run out into the hall—and into the waiting arms of a second guard.

Curufin considered demanding to be let go, but it would probably come out as pleading. He decided to ignore the guards instead, and walk as though it was purely his own decision to go down this corridor, not that he was worried that he would fall over and they would simply drag him by his bound hands.

Their destination was Morgoth’s throne room. That was not surprising, nor was the crowd of orcs and Maiar present to witness the capture of one of Feanor’s sons. What was surprising was the elf seated at Morgoth’s feet. He was clean, his red hair braided elegantly into a crown, dressed in a fine linen kilt, and adorned with a glittering golden necklace. It would not be so startling that Morgoth kept a pleasure slave, except that Curufin recognized the necklace as his own work, and once he let himself draw the obvious conclusion recognized the elf as his eldest brother, Maedhros.

Curufin was confused enough that he was almost able to forget the last time he had seen the Vala had been when Morgoth had destroyed his home and killed his grandfather.

The guards pushed Curufin down to his knees—he fought, but there were two of them and they were both much larger than him. Once he was kneeling, they tied his hands to a ring set in the floor, and joined the crowd. Curufin glared at Morgoth and braced himself for the Vala to speak.

But Maedhros spoke first. “My deepest thanks, your majesty. I think being in front of you truly does bring out Curufin’s resemblance to our father.”

“I have of course not seen him otherwise, but the arrogant expression when so thoroughly outmatched is quite reminiscent.”

“May I play with the gift your eminence has graciously shown me?”

“That’s what he’s here for. Your return was a very pleasant surprise, and you deserve a nice reward for it.”

“Thank you.” With that, Maedhros stood up and approached his younger brother.

“What in the halls is going on?” Curufin said

“Isn’t it obvious? Lord Melkor know that I am useful and obedient to him, but you may never be. So he has allowed me to teach you how things work in Angband.” Maedhros walked behind Curufin. He pushed Curufin’s tunic up to his armpits with the stump of his right forearm, why his left hand played with the younger’s dark hair.

“I can take a beating, even if delivered by a traitor.”

“You won’t be beaten, at least not today. It would only reinforce your stubborn belief in your own superiority.” Maedhros looked at his brother for a few seconds more. “Would you obey any requests I made of you at this point, or are you just going to be a brat and dig your heels in?”

“I don’t see why I should listen to you, given that you sold me out to Morgoth.”

“Right then.” Maedhros sighed. Then he yanked Curufin’s legs backwards, so that he caught himself on his bound hands to keep from hitting the floor with his face. Being on his hands and knees was even less dignified than kneeling, and he tried to scrabble to get his legs back under him because the chain was too shot for him to simply sit back. But Maedhros was kneeling on Curufin’s calves, and Curufin could not have moved him even if the elder was not a head taller.

“Curufinwe, how I’ve longed to see you spread out under me like this.”

“You could have just challenged me to wrestle. I might not agree, but Celegorm is always interested.”

“But I don’t want Celegorm. No one else looks so much like Fëanáro.” Maedhros pushed Curufin’s tunic up again, then lay against his back. “Curufinwe.” Maedhros repeated the name that his father and brother shared. “I have heard him called the most beautiful of the Noldor, and it is true. And here you are in his image.” Maedhros leaned close and whispered, “It will be easier for you if you relax,” then placed an open mouthed kiss on his brother’s neck.

“What in the stars are you doing?” Curufin tried to struggle, but he was well and truly pinned. The only direction he could move would be to collapse to the floor.

“Is it so strange to want such beauty for my own?”

“Yes! We’re brothers—he was our father!”

“Petty rules that the Valar have us obey, have us grateful to them for helping us restrain on our ‘disturbing’ impulses! But we are not under the laws of Manwe here, we are under the laws of Melkor.”

Curufinwe tried to evade, tried to argue. But Maedhros went on with kissing him and stroking his chest. All the while, Maedhros said “Curufinwe”, and “You are so beautiful father”, and “none can keep me from you, not even your own pride.”.

In time his hand went lower, and Maedhros reached for the laces on Curufin’s trousers.

Curufin jolted, but moving forward would be into Maedhros’s hand and backwards would be against his body. “You absolute sick perverted freak! To think I ever felt bad about leaving you here! I bet you loved it, with the chief pervert sitting there on his throne watching you the whole time. And what’s the matter, Morgoth? Your might not arising readily enough? Or are you too scared of one elf to do your own torture, have to send someone you expect I won’t kill? Maybe you haven’t heard but I’m a kinslayer-”

“I’m going to gag you if you keep being rude” Maedhros said evenly.

Curufin continued his tirade of half panicked insults as his breeches were pushed down. Maedhros was not quelled that Curufin wasn’t hard, though he could feel the elder’s erection pressing against his thighs.

As Maedhros untied Curufin’s loincloth, he said “I did warn you.” Just as Curufin opened his mouth to ask what he had been warned of, the cloth was stuffed in it and the laces tied behind his head. His thought hysterically was of all his brothers, he would have thought Celegorm or Amrod the most likely to shove dirty underwear in his mouth, not Maedhros.

Curufin decided that silence was more dignified that mumbling though a gag.

For a few minutes, Maedhros merely touched, stoking his hand along Curufin’s inner thighs, the fine trail of hair leading down his belly, the curve of his ass. He kept up his praise of Fëanáro’s beauty, his voice loud enough to carry easily throughout the hall. Then Maedhros abruptly stuck one finger straight into other’s asshole. Curufin yelped.

Morgoth laughed. “What, has he never done this?”

Maedhros replied, “Fëanáro has seven children, I expect he likes to take a more dominant role. But for his eldest son, his heir, he is willing to yield, out of the great love he bears me. I am in my own time a king as well, and have conquered many lands in his name. Now my father wishes for me to conquer him.”

Curufin’s unwillingness was apparent to everyone in the room.

Maedhros worked a second finger into Curufin, all the while calling him by their father’s name. When he could move his fingers around comfortably, he pulled them out with an odd slurping noise. “There you are father, so open for me.” He moved his hands to his kilt.

Curufin made one last ditch effort to escape, pressing his body down to the ground and trying to pull himself along with his arms.

“So submissive Curufinwe, there’s no need to crawl for me!” Maedhros was not thrown off, physically or metaphorically. He lowered his body down, and leaned forward. Curufin went limp as he realized there was nothing he could do to deter Maedhros, no way to evade this.

Maedhros entered him and moaned with pleasure.

This part at least over quickly, perhaps a minute from penetration until Curufin felt his brother shudder above him and lay down.

After a moment, Maedhros stood up and put his kilt back on. He did not offer a hand to Curufin.

“I agreed that you could have him if you let me watch. He collapsed so early I could hardly see either of you,” Morgoth complained.

“My apologies your majesty, I did not expect him to be shy. Next time I shall hold him up.”

“Oh?”

“If of course your majesty is willing to let me have him again.”

“I will consider it.”

“Thank you, your majesty.”

“Stop talking now, and come here.” Morgoth turned to his guards. “Take that one back to his cell.”

Unfamiliar hands pulled Curufin’s trousers up enough to keep him from tripping. He was then yanked to his feet and marched away.

By the time they had gone a hundred yards, his pants were falling down. He walked the rest of the way holding them up with his hands, as the guards showed no signs of slowing

The guards tossed him in his cell. He was, with some twisting, eventually able to remove the gag, though putting his loin cloth back on properly was beyond him with his hands tied. Curufin laced up his pants and huddled in a corner where he could see the door.

* * *

Maedhros showed up a few hours later. The usual guard lurked behind him in the doorway, and a thrall accompanied him carrying a bucket and a wrapped bundle. “Set that down next the door, and leave us alone. I will call when I wish to leave; it may be some time.”

“But sir, Lord Melkor said –”

“I know what he said, and I will follow his commands. He also told you to attend me, so obey and get out.”

“Yes sir.”

The door was closed and locked behind Maedhros. For the past four hundred years, Curufin had never bested him when they sparred. That had been armed with swords, but he had little reason to suspect hand to hand would be better. And that was with Curufin in good health at his own keep and Maedhros coming off days of hard travel, not with Curufin half-starved and already sore from earlier. Still, he wasn’t tied in place, and would make his brother fight for it this time.

“Here.” Maedhros held out a wet cloth towards Curufin. “If you want to wash up.”

“What, the dirt on me offends you more than the filthy act?”

“No, but I figured you would want to stop walking around covered in my come.”

Curufin took the cloth, then retreated to the corner. How to clean himself without exposing anything to Maedhros was not obvious, so he settled for wiping a week’s worth of sweat off his face. His drinking water had been too precious to clean with.

Maedhros fixed his eyes on the far wall as soon as Curufin took the cloth. “As you may have guessed, I was not able to retake Aglon,” he said. “Lothlann is flooded with fire, and Maglor fled it with perhaps a tenth of his people. Orcs streamed south through the Gap as soon as the ground was cool. Thargelion is cut off. Himring is likely besieged by now.”

“What do you care, here as Morgoth’s favorite concubine, able to act on any perverted thought that occurs to you?”

“I didn’t want that either, but my options were limited.”

“So limited, you were chained up and dragged into place—no, wait that was me. You were the one obeying Morgoth’s every whim like tying your little brother up for you to rape was Arda’s best birthday present.”

“I really thought you were smarter than that. What do you think would have happened if I hadn’t asked for you? Morgoth might have left you in the cell for a few more days, but his obsession with Father is strong. It would have been him if it wasn’t me.”

“So you got to try out my ass instead.”

“You survived, and most of those Morgoth takes do not.”

“You’ve said yourself some things are worse than dying.”

“If you think this is one of them, I understand.”

“_You_ thought this was one of them, when you escaped last time. Unless you’ve been exaggerating for sympathy this whole time.”

“I’ve actually been underplaying the stories. But I couldn’t abandon family to this place either.”

“I suppose you got yourself captured to help me then?” Curufin asked sarcastically.

“Of course not. But I’ve been a model captive because I knew that punishment would fall on you as easily as on me. Now do you trust me enough to change into clean clothes if I hand them to you and face the door?”

“No. And even if I did, I can’t take off my tunic with my arms like this.”

“Do you at least trust me enough not to strangle me if I unlock the chains?”

“You have the key? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I have the key _now_, I didn’t in the throne room—this doesn’t exactly have pockets. Look, is it a yes or a no, because I have a few more plans to put in place before I die.”

“What plans? I would just as soon do without your ‘help.’”

“I have been here three days, and yesterday was the first mention I heard of you. Until I know what happened to the rest of our family, I have to live.”

Curufin paused. “Do you know anything about survivors of Aglon?”

“If anyone escaped, they didn’t head east. I don’t know yet how many were captured.”

“Fine. I won’t strangle you if you undo the cuffs and stand back by the door immediately.”

“No need to do me any favors,” Maedhros grumbled as he pulled the key out and unlocked his brother’s handcuffs. He sat back down by the door as Curufin stretched muscles that had been in the same position for a week.

“Thank you so very much for unchaining me after raping me, you’re the best big brother anyone could ask for.”

“Does it make any difference that at the moment I couldn’t rape you even if it did appeal to me?”

“Having trouble getting it up?”

“In a way—look.” Maedhros pulled up his kilt, and Curufin’s first instinct was to look away. But Maedhros had seen him, it was only fair.

Maedhros’s penis was surrounded by an iron cage, held in place with a strap around his waist. “That doesn’t look comfortable.”

“They deburred it this time, but you’re right.”

“What’s it for?”

“Morgoth wants to make sure I only get my reward when he allows it. So he has the key, and I can’t get hard or penetrate anyone this way.”

“It’s a little reassuring.” Curufin admitted.

“A little—but not enough?”

“No.”

“Fine.” Maedhros sighed, and began unpacking the bundle. Besides clean clothes, it contained a hairbrush and some dried fruit. Maedhros pulled off his necklace, and pushed the whole pile to the middle of the room. “They won’t trust you with any tools unobserved, but if you’re going to stand in for father they can’t object to you looking the part more.”

“Don’t you need this?” Curufin had made the necklace to reassure Maedhros after his imprisonment. Two of the points on the star pulled out to become inch-long knives. They were little use in a fight, but would work well enough to slice open veins of someone who wasn’t trying to move away.

“I have enough freedom that I expect to get other opportunities. And escape is possible, so I won’t give up unless things get much worse.”

“How long?”

“How long for what? I expect I can keep Morgoth entertained with just watching for a month whether or not you’re willing.”

“How long until you know who else was captured?”

“Two weeks, and then I’d expect that everyone I haven’t seen is either dead or safe somewhere far away from here. There’s little chance of being told which, and frankly I expect Morgoth to lie and claim everyone’s dead.”

“Then for two weeks I promise not to attack you unless you’re attacking me.”

“Thank you. I expect they’ll want to chain you up again, but one arm chained to the wall might be enough. Are you sure you don’t want to change clothes first?”

“I will not submit to being tied up!”

“Will you get it through your skull that it doesn’t matter? We have the choice of doing things comfortably, doing them painfully, or dying—resisting doesn’t work.”

“So you’ll grovel in front of the one who killed Father and Grandfather to make your life a little more pleasant. I will not.”

“Then you’ll die here, sooner rather than later.”

“At least I will die as my own master.”

“If your dignity is so important, do hold on to that necklace. There is absolutely nothing dignified about dying in Morgoth’s lap.”

“I could strike a blow from there at least. Morgoth would not appreciate having his eyes clawed out even if it’s my final act.”

“With as uncooperative as you’re being, I doubt you’d be allowed enough movement to do more than give him a bloody nose.”

“That would be more injury than you did him over thirty years.”

“You’ll die as an idiot—look, it doesn’t matter. Here are clean clothes, I’m going to face the door. In two hours I’m going to call the guards back, because much longer and I’d have to explain why I haven’t beaten bloody. You’re going to spend the next two weeks provoking the strongest being in Arda, and I’m going to try and keep you safe unless you ask to die.”

Curufin ate the fruit and brushed his hair. Once that was done, he sat for a minute simply enjoying the ability to move freely. Then he took the pile of clothes which, though of rougher make than his own, were indeed clean. Curufin washed himself and redressed quickly. “You can turn around now. Should I take it as an insult to my looks that I get a shirt?”

“I can’t give you a blanket, but Morgoth enjoys watching dignity brought low as much as complete debauchery.”

“Speaking of, aren’t you cold?”

Maedhros shrugged. “I have a pallet to sleep on, which keeps the stone from leeching all the warmth. Besides, it’s warmer inside than out on the cliff.”


	2. Three's a crowd

Maedhros came back the next day, accompanied by guards. Curufin’s hands were again chained and he was taken from his cell. This time they went not to the throne room, but to a smaller room that looked to be usually used to torture prisoners. The hook in the ceiling seemed especially ominous.

Morgoth, seated near the far wall, was even more so.

The guards linked the hook through the chain between Curufin’s hands, and left. His hands were stretched above his head, keeping him standing. It was not a painful position; his feet were flat on the floor, and his legs took all his weight.

Curufin couldn’t cover himself though. And he couldn’t step more than a few inches to the side; his movements were more even limited than the last time.

This became extremely relevant when Maedhros said “Father, there’s no need to hide from me. I want to see every inch of you,” and started pushing up his tunic.

(Morgoth had wanted to watch, so Maedhros made sure the show is visible. This room was stuck in his memory, and it was the least painful use he could think of for it.)

The tunic was pushed over Curufin’s head, all the way up to tangle in the chain.

Curufin remained stubbornly silent this time.

It didn’t change anything.

Maedhros dressed Curufin after he finished, caressing every part of him before hiding it away again. It at least meant Curufin was fully clothed when they walked back through the hallways.

Maedhros visited alone the next day, for Curufin to have another sponge bath—what Morgoth thought he would do if let unattended with a second bucket of water he had no idea, but apparently it was forbidden. He was not completely unchained this time, but managed to pull his tunic over his head and off onto his right arm long enough to wash, and back on without aid.

The next day, Maedhros came back with guards.

“Get up, you’re being moved to a different cell.”

“What, did you finally please your master enough to get me in your bedchamber?”

“Sadly no. Lord Melkor’s latest attacks have been very successful, and he will need a lot of space for prisoners. You’re doubling up with a slave from the fighting pits.”

“What are the fighting pits?”

“And here I thought you were the smart one. They’re pits in the ground where fights happen. Prisoners and orcs are thrown in, and whoever survives is pulled out.”

“Morgoth throws his soldiers away so freely? I knew he was evil; I didn’t know he was wasteful.”

“If an orc can’t take down a starving prisoner, what use would it be in battle? The so-called waste is used to hone, and fuel, the strong. And mind your tongue, Lord Melkor does not appreciate being insulted.”

Curufin wondered why Maedhros was doing this. Was he being forced by Morgoth? Was he trying to teach Curufin of the futility of defiance? Was this merely a ploy to get him to cooperate on the walk over? And as little as he wanted to care, other thoughts crept into Curufin’s mind: Would the new cell be warmer, or colder? More or less comfortable overall? Were fighters fed more often? And what questions did Curufin dare ask with two guards listening?

“Is my new cellmate an orc or an elf?”

“An elf, of course. Orcs may be useful, but they are driven by instinct. You are mine, and I have no intention of sharing with the common rabble.”

“A fighter who has survived this long is likely stronger than I am. Do you of all people really think elves are incapable of forcing themselves on someone?”

“Of course not. But his chain is attached to the opposite wall from where yours will be, you both will be able to get away from each other. Which means that if he does trespass on my property”—here Maedhros ran his hand from Curufin’s chest to just above his groin— “I will know that you allowed it.”

Curufin glared, as he was bound too tightly to punch his older brother, and Maedhros withdrew his hand.

Maedhros unlocked the door of Curufin’s new cell.

The elf inside was apparently sleeping, the back of his hair all that could be seen from the doorway.

“You won’t be punished for healing him after fights, but Lord Melkor doesn’t require it and won’t be giving you supplies. And do remember that however close you two were in Himlad, you’re mine now. I’d hate to ruin your looks just to teach you a lesson.” Maedhros said as the guards clamped Curufin’s chain to one wall.

“_Celegorm_?”

The elf rolled over to face them. “Curvo? What are you doing here? And Maedhros—what in the halls is going on?”

“As touching a reunion as I’m sure it would be, my lord prefers me to attend him. I’ll tell one of the thralls to bring you two dinner.” Maedhros left, along with the guards. 

Curufin said, “I was captured when they overran the pass –there were too many for any other outcome. What about you?” When last Curufin had seem Celegorm, he had been leading the evacuees, as the best woodsman in the fort. Celebrimbor had been in that group.

“How much detail do you want?” How much can we say without being overheard?

“Morgoth can see through the eyes of any of his creatures. It is probably safe with just us here, but they say he has strange bats and cursed hounds in his service.”

“Huan and I were hunting, going off for some peace and quiet from the rest of Himlad.” Scouting the perimeter of the train for enemies. “We were attacked, and thought that if we went back to the fort we might be safe.” Laying a false trail to the east. “Huan and I got separated. I could’ve killed myself then, but I’m not going to die unless Morgoth kills me himself. Yesterday I killed an orc, so I can at least continue the battle here.”

“How long ago were you captured?”

“At least two days, maybe three. What about you? And Maedhros—What is even going on with him? Last I knew he was in Himring.”

“You saw me at the keep. It was overrun, too quickly for me to do anything but fight. I’ve been here eight days, if that helps with your time keeping.”

Celegorm nodded. “Three days then, and one more since I last saw anyone familiar. What of Maedhros?”

Curufin reported with the same vague annoyance as when discussing an ore that had turned out too carboniferous and burnt a hole in the floor and his shoe. “Maedhros reports the Gap fallen and Himring besieged. He apparently rode to our rescue, and was captured himself. He then professed to Morgoth that he has long desired sex with our father, but that I was an acceptable substitute under the circumstances. Morgoth, after a demonstration, believed him. So now I am required only to stay clean and healthy until Maedhros comes for me again.”

Celegorm was stunned. “I can fight him off next time he comes by.”

“He won’t be alone.”

“I can still make it more trouble than it’s worth. A kick to the groin won’t kill Maedhros but would—stop him.”

“It would stop him once, and then he’d come back when you’re not here.”

“I might be able to kill him, but I’d need you to distract him.”

Curufin lowered his voice to a whisper. “Maedhros doesn’t want it either, but he thinks it will stop Morgoth from personally torturing me.” He continued in a normal volume, “There’s no other way for me to survive here. Morgoth isn’t quite stupid enough to let me crat anything, and I’m not as good a fighter as you are. If I’m forced to kneel for anyone, at least it’s someone with a good claim on the crown.”

“That’s horrible,” Celegorm said for lack of a better reply.

“Yes.”

The awkward silence was shortly interrupted by the door opening. An elf carrying two plates walked in, and put them both down in the middle of the cell before quickly leaving without speaking.

In addition to bread, there were also strips of dried meat, and one carrot for the two of them. Fighters were given more food, Curufin supposed in order to be more of a useful challenge.

Celegorm immediately started eating, but Curufin couldn’t take his eyes of the jerky.

As Celegorm picked up a piece, Curufin could no longer stay silent. “Maedhros said—technically implied—that the meat is dead elves.”

Celegorm paused. “May Mandos grant them the mercy that he has pledged never to grant me.” He then worked on pulling it apart despite a bruised jaw.

“That’s it?!”

“This is terrible, and I will have vengeance for it, but starving myself won’t bring anyone back.”

“You’re taking this awfully well.”

“You remember I can talk to animals right?” At Curufin’s appalled expression, he said, “Don’t worry, I won’t kill someone who’s thrown in the pit with me and just trying to get away. But once they’re dead, they don’t need the body.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: More rape and voyeurism, cannibalism, reference to killing prisoners

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings with spoilers: Morgoth captures both Curufin and Maedhros. Maedhros pretends that he has always been interested in Curufin as a substitute for Feanor, and rapes him to keep him 'safe' from further tortures. During this he refers to Curufin as Feanor. Later, Maedhros and Curufin discuss whether torture is worse than death, and Maedhros offers a 'suicide pill' to Curufin.
> 
> If you have opinions on who else should be with them in Angband, vote in [this poll](http://www.strawpoll.me/18715247)! (Note: This story will not contain underage sex no matter who else gets captured.)


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